Many of have been to the Doctor’s office for one thing or another over the years. We get a physical exam and we get poked and prodded here and there. On occasion, we leave with a prescription for just the right medication that will fix what ails us. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could get a Doctor’s prescription for our marriage, some practical advice to apply on a daily basis that would help us to be close to our spouse, something that would provide the basic ground rules to get us to the happily ever after part? I checked my book shelf and guess what? The Doctor is in!
In his book Love Life For Every Married Couple, Ed Wheat, M.D. set out four basic principles that will enable us to have a superb marriage. Sounds like a great idea, right? A superb marriage. Fortunately, this author has simplified the process for us. As a matter of fact, he has reduced the complexities of having a fulfilling love life to four simple actions. Let’s take a look at what the good doctor has to say, with my editorial comments, of course.
Here is his B. E. S. T. prescription:
- Blessing – Our words, what we say and how we say it, set a tone for our relationship. We can be totally in control of what we say. We are reminded from scripture that we should not let any unwholesome word proceed out of our mouths but only such a word that edifies the listener. We should speak well of our spouse even when we are confronted with harsh words that are critical and even insulting. You can also bless with acts of kindness, thoughtfulness, and appreciation. Dr. Wheat reminds us to be a blessing by praying for our spouse. In thought, word, and in deed, be a blessing to your beloved.
- Edifying – Here we are told that it is essential to lift one another up. This concept can best be understood in the context of cheerleader. You need to be the most supportive and positive person to your spouse. Notice their every success and build their self-worth. You are the voice that says “I believe in you” and “You can do it.” You are vigilant to look for things for which you can praise your spouse, and things that make you thankful. And you are generous with your verbal expression of that praise. We need to be thoughtful about what we speak and ask ourselves, “Does this build up, or tear down? What can I say that will encourage, strengthen and build up my spouse?” The Doctor reminds wives to show respect and esteem their husbands and affirm and appreciate them.
Stay tuned. Next time we’ll look further into the Doctor’s prescription.
you thankful and humble also.
Why do we struggle with Jesus’ exhortation in John 15:12, “…Love each other as I have loved you”. May I suggest we struggle because we are faced with the pressure to feed “self;” this is what I want and this is what I need. Not only are we feeding our needs and wants, we are driven by our feelings. These can be feelings of fairness, injustice or anger and resentment. When we mix a focus on self with our ever changing feelings, we have a recipe for a dysfunctional relationship.
In our previous blog “Water Often” we discussed the importance of nurturing your spouse by making sure that you provide for them daily, much like a plant needs water to survive. But why it is so important to provide that on a daily basis? Why is it needed?
Previously we spoke about your relationship being like a plant that needs water every day to flourish and stay green and beautiful. Let’s expand upon that.
Pause for a moment and picture the same getting home from work scenario. But this time the house is neatly kept, the shoes are put away, the floor is clean, the groceries are put away and the sink has no dishes piled up. Your wife comes down the hall and you ask the same question that every man asks when he gets home, “What are we having for dinner?” Not a word about how neat and clean the house is, or how wonderful and beautiful your wife looks. Nope. First things first. What are we going to eat?
arms. It was years of that kind of love and patience, coming from my husband, that turned me around inside. He was the instrument of God that started the healing and refining in my soul.
close. Some of us begin our marriage with baggage that we carry from when we grew up. We seldom begin with a “clean shop” so to speak. Before we come back from the honeymoon our shop is already piled with clutter.