I received a link to an interesting post this week. It seems Marlette has been married 34 years and to celebrate she posted a list of 34 Things about Marriage. I’ll share some of her thoughts with you.
Her number 1 thought of 34:
We show love in big ways – he is unconditionally accepting, endlessly patient, and generally thinks I’m all that. I don’t bad mouth him in public, look for ways to serve him, and do my best to bring honor to him.
I find it truly wonderful that her first reflection is that she experiences “unconditional acceptance.” Isn’t that the way we all want to be loved? No list of expectations; no spoken or unspoken demands. Just “I love you no matter what.”
When love is conditioned upon meeting a list of preset criteria it is truly flawed. It is at best a seasonal love, based on what you do. I will love you when you meet my expectations.
We are all less than perfect. We fail and let our spouse down at times during the course of our lives together. But does that mean we should turn our love off when we are disappointed or not feeling in love at the moment?
Husbands are commanded, yes commanded, in Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
We need to have a love for our wives that is not conditioned upon meeting a set of criteria, or acting or looking a certain way. Love is always patient, kind, and hopes for the best. Christ did not wait until we were perfect… he died for us while we were yet sinners. That is how we are to love.
She also shares about how she treats her husband. She notes that she is respectful of him, serves him, and seeks to honor him.
Our Marriage Group at church is beginning a series by Emerson Eggerichs called Love and Respect. Emerson goes to great lengths to say what a wife desires most is unconditional love and what a husband desperately needs is respect.
I find it amazing that Marlette’s first thought on 34 years of marriage so clearly states that she basks in unconditional love from her husband and she respects and honors her husband.
We’ll share more in future blogs about Marlette’s musings. Thanks Marlette!