Most books that cover marriage and relationships come around to the importance of regular date nights. Some go further and suggest quarterly weekends away and a week-long vacation once a year. You may be asking date night weekly, quarterly weekends, vacations alone? Who has the time for all that? And what about the kids? That’s just unrealistic. We don’t have time! We’re just too busy. We don’t have any free time during the week. Our schedule is full.
If you recognize any of the above reasons and are feeling that you really are just too busy, then I think it is best to go down a path of evaluation together.
With what are you too busy? Understand that your relationship is your most important life commitment. You can change jobs, where you live, and what house you live in, but you have committed to make this journey through life with your spouse and you want to enjoy that journey together. We need to invest the time we have in what is most important to us. Nothing is more important than a strong well-nourished marriage.
Times away on a weekly basis to connect help refresh and restore your relationship. It is a time for recharging, reconnecting, laughing, and reminiscing about favorite times together.
For some reason when you think back to when you were dating, you did have time to be together. You looked forward to it. Now you’re married and those times together are needed even more to keep your relationship strong, vibrant, growing, and to keep you connected and in touch with each other.
If you are not having regular dates nights weekly, then I want you to stop and honestly ask yourself why. Why is it that other things are always taking priority?
You may find that you need to cancel something else. Yes, that’s right. You may need to cancel some other scheduled meeting and in place of it put “our time.”
Don’t let the excuse of the children keep you from date nights. Enlist some relatives, a trustworthy teen, or set up a couple to trade child care duties. They need a date night just as much as you do and you can do each other a great favor that way.
If you reschedule so you have a consistent date night, you’ll find over time that it is well worth it. Relationships need to be nourished in order to thrive. Even your children will benefit from you committing to taking time away together. It may be tough to coordinate if you have kids, but it will be a blessing to them if you do.