Our last blog was an overview of a book by Dr. Sandra Scantling: Extraordinary Sex Now. In her book she examines four basic temperaments: The Lion, the Bear, the Otter, and the Bee. Today we’ll take a closer look at the Bee personality.
Generally speaking bees tend towards the following traits: Practical, ambitious, predictable, security minded, task oriented, very detailed, meticulous, good money managers, and logical. They take control and avoid impulsive behavior. They like facts over feelings and when others are patient with them, allowing them to think things through. They are all about fairness and proper balance. They value cleanliness and like things scheduled. They are good planners, but not good at delegating since they prefer to do things themselves so that they are done right. They tend to be very exacting with themselves and demanding of others.
Do you see your spouse in the list above? Or do you see yourself? Perhaps you’re a bee who married a bee and things have been very orderly since your well planned wedding.
Dr. Scantling has several hints that are quite helpful if your spouse is a bee. Here are a few:
- Understand that they need order and structure
- They can best communicate with facts and are overwhelmed by feelings and emotions
- Share your admiration for their strengths and how much you appreciate them
- Feelings don’t come easily for your bee so be open whenever they attempt to share theirs
Bees, while having so many positive strengths such as being good providers, dependable, and well-mannered, can be a handful with their constant attention to detail and need for structure. Because they are so task oriented, they may overlook many common social sensitivities. They may stress the facts rather than trying to understand what you are feeling.
And finally Dr. Scantling has a few suggestions for you if you are a bee:
- Learn to understand the feelings of others. They may not always seem logical to you, so you will need to learn empathy.
- Set aside time for a date night with your spouse. Don’t worry so much about an agenda that you overlook the joy of just spending time together.
- Look for the positives in your spouse and compliment them regularly.
- Work on sharing your hopes and dreams and plans. No need keeping all of this to yourself.
- Cultivate some spontaneity in your life. Drop what you’re doing and go have some fun.
- Work on changing your “absolute” thinking. Life isn’t always about right or wrong.
- Let yourself have some space if something isn’t “just perfect”. Sometimes things can be good enough as they are. Don’t stress and fuss over perfection.
We can all appreciate the wonderful qualities of Bees. After all, life is sweeter with a little honey.