Often song writers are able to capture the essence of some of life’s most perplexing issues. In a few simple lyrics they can capture the complexity of life, touch our hearts, and move our souls. I’ll date myself here, but one such songwriter that accomplished this mystical feat was none other than John Lennon of the Beatles. He wrote a dreamy, idyllic tale of how peaceful life could be in his song Imagine, written in 1971. He envisioned a utopian world at peace with no hunger or war, nothing to kill or die for; a fanciful happy world where mankind lives with neither territorial boundaries nor possessions. He admits that he’s a dreamer and invites us to dream with him. (A footnote here for my purest brethren – He also wanted us to imagine no heaven or hell, something with which I disagree.)
In a world where the only breaking news is bad news and where critical comments dominate our dialogue, we are often caught up in the negative onslaught that bombards our lives every day. A local town in the Midwest has actually passed a law to fine people for swearing in public because public swearing reached epidemic levels.
Can you imagine a world less negative? Can you imagine a marriage less negative?
I believe that we need to have a vision for a better marriage. If you are like most couples, your relationship with your spouse is, to one degree or another, less than perfect. To be honest, some of you would probably admit that your marriage has hit a few bumps along the way. And some may further admit that the bumps are so severe that you feel like you’re driving in the ditch. Still others just feel like giving up.
Here’s where I need all of you to take a step of faith. Take a step and imagine. Open your mind and your heart to see a better marriage, to see a closer more fulfilling relationship. Open up to seeing yourselves as best friends and lovers. Envision a time when your communication with each other is effortless. He really does understand you and takes time to hear you and even empathizes with your feelings. You both have found a way to quickly forgive when wrongs are done and hurtful words are spoken. There is a daily joy of being together because you know just how to build each other up and encourage each other. Words of praise are easily spoken; hurts and fears are shared with love and respect. You have a deep desire to enjoy a passionate intimate relationship and you long to share the joy of holding each other close. Imagine and have a vision for a marriage that improves and grows better every day.
Now for the reality check. Don’t get lost in the daydream. Imagine where your marriage can be and take responsibility each day to do what you can do to make that dream a reality. Yes! Do what you can do and day by day you can transform your marriage into what you imagined it to be.