So ladies, now it is time for us to make it count!
Did your husband ever do or say something that really made you feel special? To have his undivided loving attention is like a refreshing shower, energizing your whole being. I bet you felt important to him, indispensable and cherished. And you probably really liked that feeling!
So it is not hard to imagine that your husband would like to feel special too… that he is your hero, and you admire and respect him for his qualities. Making each other feel cherished adds to the positive relational bank account that protects our marriages from the effects of negative, draining interactions that happen every now and then.
One major hindrance is busyness. When I am working my way through an endless task list to keep the house running efficiently or get ready for an event, I tend to put relational needs on the back burner. A few years into our marriage, Alan challenged me to think about putting him on my task list! That was a big wake up call for me—just because there are tasks to be done doesn’t mean the people in our lives can be put on hold. Tasks can wait.
We need to have an attitude of gratitude also. Discontent saps our ability to see the positive in our husbands and the circumstances we’re in, causing a negative focus. When we are thankful we are able to see what is good and true about people and situations.
So armed and motivated to make it count, what do we do? Here are some suggestions:
- Every man wants to be admired, especially by his wife! Verbalize what you like about his character, his body, what a leader or father he is, and the good work he does. It costs nothing and your man needs positive affirmations from you. Most men don’t know what you think unless you tell him, so say it, on a regular basis!
- What kind of affectionate touch does your husband like? Maybe he likes to be massaged or scratched on his back, or neck. Or a hug and kiss with a whispered promise for more later! Spontaneous touching is soothing and conveys love and acceptance.
- Write your husband a note now and then, expressing something you are thankful for about him. Give it to him in his lunch or mail to his office.
- Pray for him. He may not know it but what better way to support him in all he does than to bring him before the Lord daily. It will help him and keep you thankful and humble also.
It is not very time consuming to give a hug or tell your husband he’s an incredible father. If you have a hard time doing it, search your heart for resentment, ingratitude, or selfishness that causes you to withhold positive affirmations. Pray about it. Ask Jesus to reveal what holds you back and to help you break through. Your own personal growth will contribute so much to your marriage.
Remember it takes 5 positive deposits to your relational bank account to counteract 1 negative withdrawal. Keep adding deposits, every day, and you will be making it count!